On the trail of Lone Pine

We've just been on holiday to Brisbane again and this year we took the kids to the Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary. Established in 1927, Lone Pine was the world's first koala sanctuary and is the largest, housing 130 koalas of all ages as well as other Australian natives such as kangaroos, wombats and crocs.

The Sanctuary has only recently reopened after the floods in January. Its location - the Brisbane suburb of Fig Tree Pocket - was one of the worst affected areas. Luckily staff had enough time to move the animals to enclosures on higher ground and no losses were suffered. Staff camped out with the animals to make sure they were safe and Sea World at the Gold Coast sent its helicopter with food supplies.

The koalas are housed in a number of different areas, depending on age. Joeys hang onto their mums in the Mother and Baby enclosure, toddlers are in the Cubby House and there is a retirement enclosure for koalas in their twilight years.

The highlight for most visitors is the chance to cuddle a koala for the cameras. In the gift shop are rows of photos of celebrities, including Eric Clapton, Jackie Chan and Mikhail Gorbachev, getting up close and personal with the Sanctuary's gum-tree dwelling inhabitants. I wasn't keen - having been reliably informed that they are prone to pissing on you - but the girls had a go.

The Sanctuary also has a large kangaroo and wallaby enclosure where you can wander about and feed Skippy with specially prepared food for sale in the gift shop. If you're lucky, like we were, you may even spot a joey in its mother's pouch.

The Sanctuary also has wombats, Tasmanian Devils, a platypus house and a selection of the most venomous snakes in Oz.

However, the highlight for me was the Aussie sheep dog show. A Bushie farmer in an akubra hat and with an accent so strong I don't think the Japanese tour party watching with us would have understood a word of what he was saying, demonstrated the skills these dogs require on properties so large they dwarf Wales. Once the sheep have been rounded up, the yard dog - trained in handling the sheep in the yard - takes over. He runs up and down their backs to keep them in order.

Next, in a scene reminiscent of the Thorn Birds, a Bryan Brown lookalike demonstrated how the sheep are shorn - although Ian, who worked on a property once in his youth, assured me this was a very sanitised version and that in real life the shearing is done in much less time and with a lot more cuts and nicks inflicted on the sheep.

Round the afternoon off with tea and cake in the cafe by the river, and you have an excellent family day out.

Beware: kids and roos crossing!

I was sorting through our Australian holiday snaps this morning and had to share this photo, taken at a school crossing. I'm not sure how the lollipop lady copes with the kangaroos, but I'm sure she does her best...

Letter from Oz

Apologies for the long silence. We are in Brisbane and I have been preoccupied with the annual family catch-up. This week we've been on the beautiful North Stradbroke Island, one of several sand islands just off the Brisbane coast, with spectacular beaches, great surf, dolphins, whales and the odd shark.

A woman was taken by a shark here in recent years swimming with her dog at dusk in murky water. All the rules broken at once: don't swim at dusk (feeding time) with a dog (lots of splashing) in water where you can't see the bloody great shark coming at you. If attacked, Ian assures me, the thing to do is biff the blighter in the snout with all your might. Uncertain as to whether I would have the presence of mind to do anything other than wait to be swallowed, I avoid the surf and what lies beneath, to the amusement of my more gung-ho Aussie relatives.

Frankly, I think it's quite healthy to have a fear of all things deadly. As well as sharks, I am also terrified of encountering poisonous spiders and venomous snakes - and let's face it, Australia has more than its fair share of these nasties. When I lived here, I spent the first few weeks religiously shaking out my shoes each morning to dislodge any lurking scorpions. Ian nearly split his sides laughing at me when he found out and I suppose he was right to point out that any scorpions were unlikely to scale three stories of an inner city apartment building and end up in my work shoes. But you can never be too careful...

So it felt rather brave to suggest a bush walk the other day - five kilometres or so to the freshwater Blue Lake in the middle of the island. "We may even spot a koala or two," I told the girls, although my eyes were firmly on the ground searching for snakes. I should have been checking out the tree trunks as we rounded a corner and spotted this staring at us:

Now I know it's not deadly, but it had a steely prehistoric glare that was quite unnerving all the same. Undaunted, we trudged on through the bush, forded the odd stream

passed some very odd looking plants

until we reached the lake.

We found a spot by the shore to eat, our only companions two council workers and a group of overly-amorous German backpackers.

As we were tucking into our lunch and I was pondering why sarnies Downunder always have to include a giant slab of beetroot, the council workers came over shaking a large, half-full plastic bag.

"Youse eat prawns?" they inquired. "Goddem off a mate's boat in Amity this mornin'. We can't eat 'em all. Youse can 'ave 'em if you want."

Ian did want and as the workers ambled off, I reflected life must be pretty good for them on Straddie - fresh prawns for lunch, surfing after work before heading to their house with a sea-view (now worth squillions thanks to the influx of townies wanting second homes) and just time for a quick stubbie and some footie-watching with their mates before their Sheila tells them grub's up. No wonder Ian's looking wistful. It might be time to come home.

RIP Big Brother

Big Brother - we're no longer watching him. At least not in the UK. Although I have to admit I only ever watched part of one episode after a friend in the Netherlands (where the whole fiasco started and one contestant actually gave birth in the house)told me about it. I really couldn't see the point - it was dull, dull, dull!

It now seems that after 11 years the programmers at Channel Four finally agree with me and the show which brought us Jade Goody among others is being axed in favour of comedies, films and dramas. Hurrah - much more up my street!

At its height, the show was screened in nearly 70 countries. In Australia it was so explicit that it was nicknamed "Big Brothel" and the government threatened new censorship laws after a contestant appeared to rub his crotch in a female contestant's face.

Interestingly, there was even an Arab version of the show filmed here in Bahrain. It was called Al-Ra'is (The Boss). 12 contestants, 6 men and 6 women, were put in a purpose built house on Amwaj Island (a swish new housing development).The show had segregated sleeping quarters and men and women were forbidden from visiting each other's bedrooms. There was also a women's lounge, prayer room and a mixed-sex communal area.

But these modifications were not enough to satisfy those who saw the show as a threat to Islam and it was suspended after seven days, following a street protest. "This is entertainment for animals!" declared one female protester.

I have to agree.

The Ashes

Enough said!

Aussie husbands

It's official. According to a recent study by a British academic, Aussies make the worst husbands. This isn't great news - I married one.

Reading the smallprint, I discover that the reason for their low ranking among the 12 countries in the study is that Aussie blokes are really bad at helping out with the housework and child-rearing. I suppose I have to admit, mine's not exactly known for his domestic prowess.

Still, there are surely other considerations when choosing your life partner over and above their ability to do the ironing and change a nappy?

So it is with some optimism that I read the results of another survey in Brisbane's local paper. Around 90% of Australian males believe in true love. Only 54% of Australian females do. Maybe they equate love with laundry skills?

"Isn't that great?" I said to Ian. "The overwhelming majority of Aussie men believe there is such a thing as true love."

"Ah yes," he replied "but you are assuming that the figures apply to a man's love for his wife or girlfriend. Obviously there are loads of other types of true love. True love for the footie, or fishing, or cricket, or beer..."

He didn't get a chance to embellish any further as he was too busy nursing the enormous blow I administered to his right shin.

Still, I am better off than many wives in other societies. In Afganistan, a bill allowing a husband to starve his wife if she refuses to have sex has been published in the official gazette this month and become law.

And all I have to moan about is an unstacked dishwasher.

Downunder Highlights

The annual Aussie pilgrimage is at an end for another year. Here are the highlights (in no particular order):

1. Hand feeding the wild dolphins on Moreton Island. During the 1980's, dolphins started feeding on fish thrown to them by fishermen from the jetty at Tangalooma. To this day, dolphins from the same pod come into shore each evening and can be hand fed under the guidance of marine biologists from the Tangalooma resort. An amazing experience.

2. Main beach at Stradbroke Island. Possibly the best beach in the world, particularly at this time of year (Aussie winter) when there is no-one on it apart from a few surfers at dusk.

3. Toowoomba and the Aussie countryside or bush. This year we visited friends from Zambia who have relocated to the Queensland country town of Toowoomba. This is the view from their new backyard. We hadn't been inland for a number of years and I had forgotten how beautiful the bush is. Olivia (who is working on her Aussie-ness) told us she really liked being in the bushes!

4. Mars, Pepe, Strudel and Curly, the various family pets (voted by Olivia).This is Mars - probably the most indulged and most photographed dog in the world.

5. Going for walks and the kids being able to run free - appreciated enormously since living in Bahrain.

What were your holiday highlights?

The Annual Pilgrimage

July/August each year sees us embarking on the annual pilgrimage Downunder to visit Ian's Brisbane rellies (as they're called here).

The girls and I left last weekend and Ian joins us soon. A bit like the Royal Family, we never all seem to travel together - though I always cop the kids, while Ian travels in splendid isolation.

The girls are now seasoned long distance travellers and relish the fact that this is their one chance each year to fully indulge in their telly-addiction without being chastised. Olivia solemnly informed me before take-off at Abu Dhabi that there were only 11 films she really wanted to see before we touched down in Singapore.

They were brilliant though - not a peep out of them the whole time. The only hiccup was after landing in Brisbane, when it looked like one of the passengers may have swine flu and we would all need to be quarantined. This seemed a bit of a drastic measure for avoiding the in-laws.

Happily the airport doctor allowed us to disembark and we are now safely ensconced at Ian's sister's house in picturesque Shorncliffe awaiting the much-anticipated arrival of the prodigal son on Monday.

Tales from the pool

Isabelle competed today in the St Christophers School Open Swimming Championships. She did 50m freestyle in 46 seconds, knocking over 2 seconds off her previous best time.

St Christophers is reputedly the best school on the island and is certainly the most sporty. The standard of swimming on show was quite extraordinary and the competition keen. 

Isabelle has her own special brand of competitiveness. When I asked her if she was pleased with her time and gaining second place in her heat, she replied that she was, but that the best thing was that she had not qualified for the final as she really couldn't be bothered to go. 

She's not got that killer Aussie competitive edge then..........